Things I say to myself:)

1~ I can do this...whatever it happens to be that day.

2~ Stop focusing on yourself...have to remind myself a lot.

3~ Food is fuel...lol.

4~ It is what it is.

5~ Breathing deeply is very beneficial.

6~ Change is constant.

7~ Be good to your friends.

8~ I am not old, I am not old, I am not old....YET!

9~ I am what I think...

10~ Be positive.

11~ Be thankful.

12~ It is okay to fail.

May I Suggest the Group "The Swell."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATzyS4-f3Kw

Learning to trust people.

I have never been very trusting of people. I guess that is a personality flaw of mine. But in light of recent circumstances I have had to trust in strangers for various things & I am so happy to say (write)that I have a new found trust in the human race! It feels amazing! Part of this new trust has come from the Japanese people. I have had a wonderful experience with my Japanese neighbors. My landlord is a much older woman whom I see frequently coming and going. She does not speak English, maybe a few random words like dog & walk is all. But she and I always find a way to communicate. It is so neat. She tells me thank you for sweeping the walkway. She speaks to my dogs when she passes. She brings me gifts of food, and yesterday she brought her daughter over to meet me. Her daughter speaks some English & the mother wanted her to ask me if I would teach some of her friends English. I was so honored & I would have loved to do it...that is when I had to get out my dictionary & show her the words divorce & move. They were sad, & the word the daughter used was "darn-it" said like "dahn eet." That made me laugh! We all giggle a lot when trying to communicate. Anyway, tonight I saw my landlord looking in the window waving. I went outside and she said in English "You ok?" It was so sweet! She is adorable. So very nice. My other Neighbor Sato San told me he was disappointed that I was leaving & wanted me to come back & visit the hot springs! He said that he would get me some information. I am all about some hot springs, lol. Anyway, many other experiences here in these 2 short months have opened me up to accepting that humans can be good to each other & I feel more trusting of people in general than I ever have before. And that feels really, really good.

So Many Emotions

I have a sea of emotions in my heart. Too many to acknowledge. Sometimes I stop & think what has happened here? Where did my life go? Six weeks ago, things were so different. It took so much time and emotional energy to prepare to live overseas. I was prepared to live here in Japan for 3 years, and it is taking some effort to re-evaluate my situation & prepare myself to move again to a new place & a new circumstance. I wish I were more flexible.
Today I received my flight confirmation, I am flying out sooner than I exspected. I leave on October 7th. Instead of feeling relief that I am going "home" I felt sad & confused.
The bottom line is I just have to accept what is...and let go of what is no more.