This season of my life has brought a bit of unexpected change. Change that I did not want and have feared all of my life. I am the kind of person who loves a routine, but also loves some variety thrown in there here & there. That being said, I have really loved being married & cooking dinner, making scrapbooks, & homemade birthday cards. I loved living with my best friend & having inside jokes & of course a routine that had developed from 7 years of being with someone,for pretty much all of my free time.
Unfortunately, things do not always stay the same. Sometimes that can be good I know but so hard for me to accept. I like the life that I have had the last four years. The Navy band has been pretty perfect because Eric is not gone to terribly long at a time & we get to move every 3-4 years, which I like because I get bored so easily with one job. I love those aspects of the military. But soon everything I am used to will change. I have applied to go back to school in Alabama, to try something new. I will also be taking care of myself. I know I can do it, I've done it before, but I just didn't see this coming. It was a devestating blow & left me numb for several weeks. I'm sure being in a new country with no support system didn't help. But, God provided 2 precious people who without knowing me, offered me wonderful support. I am a proud person sometimes so I am feeling embarrased,& I'm not sure why.
I will not go into specifics on a blog, but Eric has decided that he believes that he wants a divorce. The differences we have are fundamental, thank God they do not involve infidelity or abuse to one another. We love each other, and we are best friends, but sometimes differences in certain areas cannot be overcome. Although I do want to keep trying, I can't do it by myself. It would take both of us. I love Eric dearly. I never wanted to be in this position...I guess nobody would choose this.
I just hope that I will be able to accept this change in time. I am trying, but I am always slow to embrace new things. And I truly hope that this pain will not last forever. It truly hurts so terribly.
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5 comments:
Laura, I had no idea. I have been thinking about you so much though and I knew there was something. I do not know what to say but that I am so so sorry for the pain you are bearing. Laura, I will be praying for you daily. My heart feels for you.
I'm so sorry Laura, I will be praying for your heart to heal. I can't imagine your pain and fear of the unexpected...the Lord will carry you though.
Laura, I am shocked!! I can't believe it!! I don't know what to say except I will be praying for your heart!! Love ya, Silena
Thank you to all of you for your thoughts & prayers. I can feel them. It means a lot to me.
I'm so, so sorry Laura. Good luck to you, and keep in touch. If I could be any small part of making this time less terrible for you, then I'm grateful.
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